His eyes opened to the poster of Jim Morrison on the wall reaching out his hands. He picked up his mobile phone. 0 missed calls, 2 new messages.
One offering sunglasses of 1200 bucks for 800 bucks. Deletes.
Second one ringtone of Gayatri Mantra on a monthly basis of 30 bucks. Faith comes cheap. He smiled. Erases it.
12.30 pm.
The room was dimly lit by the sunlight coming from the cobwebbed ventilator. He didn’t want to open the windows. He lit a cigarette. The glowing tip burned silently with a blood red smile. The exhaled smoke rose up to form a cloud over his head. The thoughts also started to cloud in his mind again. They never really leave him. Only the time he is sleeping. He shook the Pc out of the standby mode. This computer was his window to the outer world. It also stored his diet for the soul, his music. After a few mouse clicks, a Baul started singing
“Ami nokol pagol sokol dekhi
Asol pagol pelam na
Mon er moto pagol pelam na”
(All the mad people I see are fake
I could not get hold of a real mad one
I could not find the mad one my heart seeks .)
He picked up the book lying on the table and turned the pages to ‘Araby’. He had read it many times. It reminded Him of her. He never had her. And after all these years he was sort of satisfied that it didn’t happen. He wanted her to be happy with someone else, someone more deserving. He felt the tide of emotions flowing in. He rolled a joint. A few moments of escape, maybe. He closed his eyes and laid down. The pictures started flashing by. The journey of life seemed to have become stagnant in the last few years. He stood at the same place that He was standing years back. The path has ceased to exist.
The music was playing in the background. Fakir Lalon was saying
“Somoi gele sadhon hobe na”
(Spiritual practice won’t bring result if not done in time.)
It reminded him. He looked for time.
1.30 pm. College.
It was the same faces he saw everyday. Faces lined up at same places they do everyday.
There were only two classes remaining for the day when He entered college. He decided to attend the poetry class only. The professor was speaking of ‘Carpe Diem’. The poet had exerted all his sarcasm and persuasion in the lines of his poem to convince his Beloved to return his love while they were still young and throbbing.
His eyes fell upon Purobi. She was sitting opposite him, listening to the lecture. She suddenly turned around and looked at him for a second and again turned to face the professor. She was weird. They conversed, sometimes. They were friends or not - He wasn’t sure. Did He like her? He didn’t know. She was rumored to be going out with someone from college. He didn’t care. He had developed a habit of not caring.
After class He joined His friends for some coffee and cigarette. They were talking about some new movie of Shahrukh Khan. He listened quietly.
They decided to go and hang out in a recently inaugurated shopping mall. He declined and walked to the railway tracks a little distance away from the college. This place always remains deserted. A dying pond surrounded by shrubs and bushes lay just beside the tracks. Trains seldom passed on this tracks. He came here often. The evening was growing dark slowly. The last remains of the sun settled on the top of the trees but eventually had to retreat defeated by the shrouding darkness.
He lit a joint. The fireflies were glowing timidly among the bushes like small dots of hope. The crickets started to hum a solemn tune of solitude. He felt attuned to his surroundings.
The thoughts started to creep in again. But this time it was accompanied by the memories. Along with the unpleasant notes, good ones also tagged along. He smiled thinking of the good times. But which of them haunted him more needs not to be said. The prospect of a lost future made him feel purposeless. He was of no use to anybody. The distant whistle of a train was growing louder. He saw the light emerging from the darkness. It was a chance to the probable End waiting to be capitalized. He stood up.
The train pierced through the darkness at a chilling speed with its shrill scream trailing behind. The red light at the rear of the train sped away breaking off all means of communication.
Total silence descended on the place. A few minutes later the sound of a sigh revealed a sign of life. He emerged from the darkness and looked at the horizon. The clouds sailed away to reveal a clear star studded sky. The mellow glow of a half moon veiled the tress and the fields.
He crossed the railway tracks and started walking on a path rendered invisible by the expanding mist.
